Tag Archives: parenting support

Helping your Child to Overcome Bullying

Helping your child to overcome bullying

Bullying can be an upsetting and frightening experience; it is prevalent among both adults and children and can have a major negative impact on a person’s overall well-being. There is much research to support and bring to light the prevalence of bullying within Northern Ireland. A study conducted by Ulster University[1] provides some evidence regarding bullying. They found that in primary schools 40% of pupils and 30% of post-primary pupils reported having been bullied at school. Worryingly, they found that 25% of primary pupils and 28% of post-primary pupils admitting to bullying others.

An independent poll commissioned by the Northern Ireland Anti-Bullying Forum[2] discovered that more than half of respondents had personally experienced bullying in the last six months. The poll found that one in three people admitted to being ‘picked on’ while almost a quarter of people admitted that bullying happened a lot. The poll also found that the majority of bullying occurred within school, on the internet or travelling to/from school.

Since the Covid-19 pandemic began, the poll revealed that almost three quarters of participants who stated they had more than one good friend before lockdown occurred in March 2020 has dropped to 62%. 23% of people stated Covid-19 had escalated bullying particularly online. This indicates the prevalence of bullying is higher now more than ever.

Bullying, what is it?

Bullying is consistent and intentional, exploitation of power in a relationship. It is the physical or emotional hurting of one individual or group to another individual or group and can be in-person or online[3] and can be obvious or hidden (behind someone’s back).

Types of bullying:

Physical bullying involves the intentional physical harm to an individual, such as kicking, biting, spiting, punching, pushing, hair pulling, threats and damaging ones belongings.

Verbal bullying involves hurtful verbal abuse, such as name calling, insulting, racist and homophobic remarks, untiring teasing and cursing.

Social bullying this often happens behind a person’s back, where an individual or a group wishes to ruin another person’s social reputation or embarrass them, such as making up false stories, spreading nasty jokes, exclusion, making unkind faces and gestures.

Cyber bullying involves bullying behaviours across the use of technology, for example, on smartphones, tablets, laptops, social media, chat rooms, texting, websites or any online platform, in which a person or group may send hurtful messages, post negative remarks or photographs of an individual, exclusion or spread nasty rumours.

Racist bullying involves ongoing exposure to offensive and hurtful behaviours towards an individual’s skin colour, culture, religion or ethnicity, such as name calling, mocking, and physically hurting an individual, humiliation, exclusion and vandalism[4].

Emotional bullying involves consistently hurting an individual’s emotional well-being, such as teasing, name-calling, belittling, humiliating, disempowering and lying to another individual[5].

How to recognise the signs of bullying:
  • Physical attributes: unexplained cuts and bruises, loss of appetite, not sleeping, bed wetting
  • Emotional attributes: showing signs of anxiety, stress, depression, aggression
  • Social attributes: avoidance of places, such as school or social activities, very few friends, isolation, avoidance of social media

 

One Kind Word: Anti-Bullying Campaign

In 2020, the ‘One Kind Word’ campaign from the Northern Ireland Anti-Bullying Forum was a massive success with 80% of schools taking part, which included over 7.5 million children and young people

How you could promote ‘One Kind Word’:
  • Just say hello
  • Apologise when required
  • Ask someone ‘are you okay?’ if they look to be having a bad day
  • Speak to someone who looks to be excluded
  • Pay a compliment
  • Invite or organise a date with a friend

‘One Kind Word’ can make a person’s day, giving them a moment of hope and happiness, changing their perspective and break the cycle of bullying. Being kind promotes kindness from others[6].

 

Tips for helping your child to overcome bullying

  1. Listen and reassure: Put your own feelings aside and listen to what your child is telling you when talking about bullying. Allow them to explain what is happening and accept what they are saying. Praise your child for telling you and let them know
    they did the right thing getting help. Make sure your child knows this isn’t their fault, and reassure them that they are loved and valued.
  2. Find out the facts: Repeat back to them what you have heard from them about the bullying to show you have listened and ask your child how they want to move forward. If they feel involved in deciding what to do they will be less
    likely to become more stressed or anxious than they already are
  3. Stay Calm: Try to remain calm and not over-react. Your child may be
    really worried about telling you they are being bullied and could
    be scared that your reaction will make things worse
  4. Talk to your child’s school or club: Schools have a responsibility to
    protect pupils from bullying. Talk to them whether it is happening in or out
    of school. If the bullying is happening at a youth club, speak to the leader in charge. Arrange a meeting, bring any evidence you have of the bullying
    and express the impact it is having on your child. You might want to
    jot down notes from what is said at the meeting. Ask for a copy of the
    school’s Anti-Bullying policy and ask what action will be taken making sure
    everyone is in agreement with what should be done. Arrange to meet
    again to be updated of any progress
  5. Line of contact: If the bullying continues and you are not happy with the schools response from either the child’s teacher or principal, you can write to the Chair of the schools Board of Governors. If the situation continues, you can write a formal
    complaint to the Education Authority or CMS Board.

 

[1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237653189_Bullying_in_Schools_A_Northern_Ireland_Study

[2] Young people reveal scale of bullying in schools – The Irish News

[3] https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/all-about-bullying/understanding-bullying/definition

[4] http://www.endbullying.org.uk/what-is-bullying/prejudice-based-bullying/racial-bullying/

[5] https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-bullying-and-how-to-deal-with-an-emotional-bully

[6] https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/anti-bullying-week/anti-bullying-week-2021-one-kind-word

Sink or Swim Programme- Southern Trust

Duration: Every Wednesday for 6 weeks beginning on the 23rd of February 2022 for 1.5 hours from 10.00am – 11.30am

This programme provides parents with a greater awareness of mental health issues and deals sensitively with the issues faced by children when a parent is emotionally unwell.  For parents it can be difficult to explain to their children what is happening and for the child it is difficult to make sense of their parent’s attitude and behaviour. 

It offers practical tips and factual information to meet the child’s needs and reduce their anxiety when their parent is experiencing a mental health issue.

Online via Zoom

To register call us on freephone 0808 8010 722!

Parenting Children’s Challenging Behaviour – Southern Trust

Duration: Every Monday for 6 weeks beginning on Monday 24th January 2022 for 1.5 hours from 7.00pm- 8.30pm

Aim: To help parents understand and manage their children’s challenging behaviours

The Parenting Children’s Challenging Behaviour programme will:

  • Help parents understand children’s behaviours
  • Recognise the triggers to their child’s behaviour
  • Give practical tips on how to reinforce positive behaviour

The programme promotes the Authoritative Parenting style which research shows to be the most effective.

The programme is particularly suited to those parenting children aged 2-10 years old.

For parents living in the Southern Trust area

Online via Zoom

Cal 0808 8010 722 to register!

Improving the relationship with my Teenager

Throughout the teenage years, the relationship between parents and their teenagers can become challenging. This session helps to promote a more positive parent-teen relationship throughout equipping parents with the skills to improve their relationship and improve communication. Sessions made possible with support from the McCall Social Fund.

Available in the Antrim, Newtownabbey, Mallusk, Glengormley, Crumlin, Larne & Ballyclare areas.

Call freephone 08088010722 to register!

Digital Parenting

This seminar explores children and young people’s use of technology, the session looks at the risks and dangers of the online world and encourages parents to have effective conversations around boundaries and keeping safe online. Sessions made possible with support from the McCall Social Fund.

Antrim, Newtownabbey, Mallusk, Glengormley, Crumlin, Larne & Ballyclare Areas

Call freephone 08088010722 to register!

Single Parents Day

 

We are proud to be celebrating Single Parents Day on Monday 21st March 2022 and standing with Single Parents

We’ll be sharing valuable resources across all of our social media, so keep an eye out. Single Parents’ Day is a chance to raise awareness of the struggles and hardship faced by many single parents, but more than that, it is an opportunity to celebrate their incredible strength, love and resilience.

​Single Parents’ Day is a day for everyone to stand with single parents and show them how amazing they are. A day for single parents to reflect on all they have achieved and overcome, and for the world to show them how valued they are.
We’re partnering with Gingerbread, One Family Ireland and One Parent Family Scotland to celebrate Single Parents Day. Check out what they’re up to during the week too!

Don’t forget that if you’re in need of additional assistance you can always call our support line – we are here for you!

Support Line: 0808 8010 722
Available Monday – Thursday 9:30 am – 3:30 pm and Friday 9:30 – 12:30 pm

We would love to hear your personal stories to help us celebrate Single Parents Day and #StandWithSingleParents! If you would like to share your own story or that of an amazing single parent you know, get in touch!

Follow the #StandWithSingleParents #SingleParentsDay2022 hashtags to see what we get up to during the week. 

Email claref@parentingni.org to share your story

Children’s Emotional Health

Available for parents in the South Eastern Trust

Children who have positive emotional health and wellbeing tend to have better outcomes in life. This workshop encourages parents of children to recognise the importance of their children’s mental health.

This workshop will:

  • Raise awareness of the effects on children with positive emotional health and wellbeing
  • Promote activities parents can use to enhance social and emotional learning
  • Equip parents with the skills to improve their children’s emotional health and wellbeing

Book Now

Promoting Positive Behaviour

Available for parents in the Antrim, Newtownabbey, Crumlin & Ballyclare areas. 

With the many changes this year, our children may be struggling to express their feelings, which may be resulting in challenging behaviour. This workshop will help parents understand the feelings behind the behaviour, and will support parents to develop strategies to help reduce the challenging behaviour and promote more positive behaviour. Supported by the McCall Social Fund

Call freephone 0808 8010 722 to register!

Promoting Positive Behaviour

For parents based in the Belfast Trust

With the many changes this year, our children may be struggling to express their feelings, which may be resulting in challenging behaviour. This workshop will help parents understand the feelings behind the behaviour, and will support parents to develop strategies to help reduce the challenging behaviour and promote more positive behaviour.

Book Now

Children’s Emotional Health

For parents based in the Belfast Trust

Children who have positive emotional health and wellbeing tend to have better outcomes in life. This workshop encourages parents of children to recognise the importance of their children’s mental health.

This workshop will:

  • Raise awareness of the effects on children with positive emotional health and wellbeing
  • Promote activities parents can use to enhance social and emotional learning
  • Equip parents with the skills to improve their children’s emotional health and wellbeing

Book Now