Tag Archives: pandemic

Parenting in the Pandemic – Fully Booked

Parenting within the current climate can be extremely challenging for families. This workshop explores these challenges for parents during Covid-19 and looks at the impact of stress on the parent and the effect this can have on the parent and children’s emotional health and wellbeing.

 

Parents struggling with the additional pressure lockdown is putting on families

Leading parenting support charity launch findings from Parenting in a Pandemic Survey

A survey carried out with 439 parents in Northern Ireland shows many families are finding the current circumstances incredibly difficult. 78% of parents either agreed or strongly agreed that the pandemic had been difficult for them and their families. 74% agreed or strongly agreed it had been difficult for their children.

This crisis has presented a range of unique and challenging problems for families and parents. It has fundamentally altered society, and has forced many parents to adapt. Parents are particularly concerned about the stress and emotional impact and the loss of traditional routines, such as struggling to maintain bedtimes and structure during the day. 

Home schooling was another major cause of concern for parents. Half of parents felt that provision for their child's education had not be adequate during lockdown, with many describing feelings of guilt or anxiety about balancing home working and home schooling. Parents also suggested they were concerned about children falling behind as a result of lack of formal education. Parents are also unsure as to whether schools should be one of the first settings to return after lockdown, with 42% agreeing that schools should return and 58% feeling that they should not. 

A worryingly high number of parents suggested they were unaware of any support available to them. 63% of parents believe that the Northern Ireland government have not done enough to support and inform parents. 

Chief Executive at Parenting NI, Charlene Brooks, said,

"This is undoubtedly a very difficult experience for many families. Parents facing additional challenges such as lack of access to devices and poor internet provision, concerns about impact of isolation on mental health, and parents of children with additional needs have been hardest hit and in need of more support. It is therefore really concerning that many parents were unaware of support available to them. Parenting NI are suggesting that more should be done to make parents aware of existing help."

Interestingly, whilst parents are struggling there was a minority (just under 20%) who suggested that the crisis and associated lockdown had been, on the whole, a positive experience for their families. Some parents indicated that this unique period had offered them an unexpected opportunity to spend more time together and enjoyed strengthening their family bond. Reflecting on this Charlene said,

"I think in these most unusual times it has been encouraging to see families find the positives in this new way of life we have been adjusting to, spending more quality time together, sharing meals and generally bonding more as a family. At Parenting NI we would encourage families to consider if any of these positives can be made to maintained, even after the crisis is over. We hope that it might be an opportunity for employers, schools and families to work together to consider changes to working and education patterns and encourage a stronger value to be placed on parenting and families; which will have a positive impact on society as a whole."

Read the full report

Click to download the full report of the findings from the Parenting in a Pandemic Survey. Published May 2020.

Summary

Take a look at the key statistics from the Parenting in a Pandemic Survey. Published May 2020.

Childcare and the Pandemic

Finding and being satisfied with your chosen childcare is complicated under any circumstances. During the pandemic, when almost all providers have been forced to close and children told to stay at home the situation has become even more difficult. As a parent, you have already delicately balanced affordability with good-quality care for your child. Most parents are happy with their childcare provider and were measured and careful in picking what was most appropriate to suit their needs and the needs of their child(ren) in the first place. However, financial and other pressures will have meant that they may need to have uncomfortable conversations with providers. 

This article will attempt to give you some ideas and support if and when you need to have this conversation with your childminder/childcare provider. Our friends at Employers For Childcare have also contributed to this advice. We would strongly recommend reading their articles on financial support measures for childcare providers/childminders to better understand the circumstances. These are regularly updated, and provide a useful source of information for parents and providers. 

Difficult conversations

Legally, you may have signed a contract. While the pandemic has created a unique set of circumstances it does not necessarily mean that you are released from the clauses of this contract. You may still be asked to pay a retainer fee if you wish to keep your childminding/childcare place. You can find further help and support on the Family Support NI website. In particular, the article COVID-19 Childcare Options and Associated Guidance. 

When having difficult conversations, it is important to remember to remain calm. The first thing is to have a plan for what you want to say, and how to say it. In this case, decide before contacting your childminder/childcare provider what you think is a reasonable and balanced solution to the issue. Remember that difficult circumstances are by definition, difficult. There is no magic bullet response that can resolve this and keeping a realistic goal of just improving the situation is important. 

Would you be happy to pay a percentage of your normal fee to maintain your child’s place? Are you able to pay or are you unable to pay at all? If you have a solution in mind it will be easier for you to communicate your concerns and come to a reasonable solution. 

Be understanding about circumstances

Secondly, remember to be empathetic. These are highly challenging times and it is understandable that many parents are finding it difficult to deal with the additional pressures. Home schooling, working from home and financial changes related to furloughing or having hours reduced will have an impact on your ability to cope easily with stress. When you arrange to speak to your childcare provider, remember that they are often facing exactly the same pressures.  

They are worried about keeping staff employed, staying safe and keeping their business from going under so that when we come out the other side of this pandemic there will still be childcare available to enable all to return to work. Additionally, you are unlikely to be the only parent who has contacted them about this. Try to put yourself in the place of your childminder/childcare provider and remain calm if they are not initially receptive to your concerns. 

Flexibility

Finally, be as flexible as you can. This situation is new, and rapidly changing. While you will naturally have a desired outcome it is important to keep in mind that this may not be achieved. Instead, react to the reality of the situation you are facing. Deal with things as they are, not as you want them to be or how you may fear that they will end up. Keeping awareness is important in dealing with a conversation that you find challenging. This means: 

  • Gathering of and clear perception of relevant facts and information. Don’t have this conversation without getting the facts first – read your contract, find out what financial support you may be entitled to, and speak to relevant services like Employers For Childcare’s Family Benefits Advice Service – Employers For Childcare have a helpline number you can call to get specific information about childcare. They are available on: 0800 028 3008 
  • Determine what is relevant – there is a great deal of information available. Much of it is not relevant. If you read reports or news articles, ensure that they apply to Northern Ireland and that you understand how they affect what you want to do;
  • Understand the dynamics of the relationship – remember that keeping a good professional relationship is important for your child. At the end of this crisis, you will want your child to return to their childcare setting in all likelihood; 
  • Self awareness – when and how our own emotions distort our perception. If you find yourself getting upset or frustrated, take a moment to collect your thoughts.  

If you make use of a childminder, you may be best supported by the Northern Ireland Childminder’s Association, whose website has support information for parents available here. 

If you are finding the emotional aspect of the conversation difficult, or you feel you need help with any parenting related issue, you can call Parenting NI on: 0808 8010 722