What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how we think and feel about ourselves. Having healthy self-esteem means being comfortable with how we look and how we feel. It means feeling good about ourselves, our abilities and our thoughts.

Self-esteem is made up of all the experiences and relationships we have in our lives. For children and young people, building self-esteem is an ongoing process and starts early. Their self-esteem and confidence can go up and down depending on the situations they are in. For example, you might have a child that is really outgoing outside of school but really quiet and shy in class.

Parents and carers have a role to play in helping children and young people develop healthy self-esteem.

Why is healthy self-esteem particularly important for children and young people?

Young people with low self-esteem can find it very hard to cope with pressures from school, peers and society. The teenage, and increasingly pre-teen years can be very stressful as youngsters are expected to achieve good grades, look a certain way and be successful or popular. Children and young people with low self-esteem are more at risk of developing depression, anxiety, self-harming and other mental health problems as they grow up, and will often find the ups and downs of life in general harder to get through.

Most children and young people will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages and challenges. Starting or changing school, moving house, changes in the family can all affect a child’s self-esteem but with support they can get through this.

Is low self-esteem a mental health problem?

Self-esteem and mental health are closely linked but low self-esteem isn't a mental health problem itself. Some of the experiences of low self-esteem can also be symptoms of mental health problems, such as:

     -  feeling hopeless
     -  blaming yourself unfairly
     -  disliking yourself
     -  worrying about being unable to do things

If there are a lot of things having an impact on your self-esteem over a long period of time this may then lead to mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. Similarly, if you are already experiencing mental health issues it can cause you to have low self-esteem, which can make it more difficult to cope or to take steps to improve your mental health.

Improving Self-Esteem Top Tips

Promoting self-esteem in your child is incredibly important. Staying positive and being generous with encouragement and praise are two of the most important steps any adult can take to help promote a child's self-esteem. 

Lead by Example

Give Children Individual Attention

Praise Effort Rather Than Outcomes

It's OK to make Mistakes

Discover and Develop Social Skills and Talents

Acknowledge Success

What does healthy self-esteem look like?

Children and young people with high self-esteem:

          -  Have a positive view of themselves
          -  Make friends easily and adapt to new situations
          -  Can play on their own or in groups
          -  Will try to work things out for themselves but are willing to ask if unsure
          -  Can be proud of their achievements
          -  Can admits their mistakes and learn from them
          -  Are willing to try new things and adapt to change