Being a grandparent is normally a joyful experience, even if it provides challenges as well. Under normal circumstances, grandparents see themselves as a key pillar of support for families.
In our research, Parenting NI found that around 40% of grandparents specifically name support as their role in modern society.
This support comes in many forms, emotional, financial and practical. Despite this, many grandparents already felt isolated or lonely. While the pandemic is an extra difficult time for all families, it can also provide an opportunity to make a special effort with grandparents to ensure that they feel more connected.
During this crisis many grandparents have found their lives turned upside down. Those who had particularly close relations with grandchildren may be unable to see them at all. Grandparents who provided childcare are no longer able to do so. This can be an extremely stressful addition to an already difficult time for them. It can also be highly stressful for children. Many children get important social and emotional support from grandparents. Being cut off from this, as well as worrying about the health of their grandparents adds to the worries they are already experiencing.
In this short article, Parenting NI will provide advice and support for parents to ensure that grandparents and their grandchildren remain connected. Despite the physical distancing, there are many things families can do to support continued relationships.
What is grandparent’s role?
The first step to supporting grandparents in this pandemic is establishing what they view their role as during normal circumstances. Are they providers of care? Do they support emotionally? Do they give practical help by cooking, household chores or DIY? Once parents understand what grandparents usually do, they can come up with inventive solutions.
If they normally provide childcare, it might be a good idea for a regular telephone call/video call to be established. This is no substitute for real quality time, but it can still help children and grandparents. They get to see and/or hear each other and this can offer reassurance that they are okay.
Baking and cooking
If they normally do other physical activities, there may be innovative ways to facilitate this. For example, dropping off or picking up baked goods along with a delivery of food is a nice way to stay connected. Children may feel more relaxed or excited about having cookies or traybakes made by their grandparents. Their grandparents may feel better about having to miss out on playdates. If your child is enjoying anything they made for them – remember to snap a photo to send to let them know!
Video call activities
Alternatively, set up a video-call where grandparents can talk a child through planting seeds, starting knitting or other activities This can help children learn and allows grandparents to feel like they are giving help and support. An added bonus of this may be keeping children busy while parents are working, and in that way grandparents can continue to feel as though they are providing help for families.
Writing letters is a good way for children and grandparents to keep in touch. This has a number of additional benefits. For example, it helps children work on their writing skills and spelling. It also provides a physical memory of this time, to be looked back on during happier times. Parents should encourage children to write about their day and feelings. Including drawings and artwork for younger children is another way to improve connectedness.
During this difficult time, the best thing to do is talk. Talk to the grandparents, and see what they might like to try or do. Similarly, talk to children about what they would like to do to help their grandparents. Parents should be creative and supportive of ideas, and be patient with grandparents attempting to overcome technological hurdles. When the pandemic ends, parents will be glad that they made efforts to ensure that children and grandparents remained connected. It will help support their mental health, and may even result in a closer and more loving relationship.
If parents are struggling with maintaining relationships, communication or any other related issue they can reach out to Parenting NI for help. Our support line remains active on 0808 8010 722.